COPING THROUGH TRAUMA
There is no right way to respond.
Trauma after sexual violence can affect your emotions, body, thoughts, relationships, sleep, concentration, and sense of safety.
Your reactions may change from day to day. Healing does not have to follow a certain timeline.
Having a hard day?
You do not have to handle it alone.
A SAAP advocate is available 24/7 for confidential support. 1-866-828-7273UNDERSTANDING TRAUMA
Trauma can affect both the mind and body.
Trauma is a response to an experience that overwhelms a person’s ability to cope or feel safe.
After sexual violence, trauma reactions can begin immediately, develop later, disappear for a while, or return after something reminds you of what happened.
There is no single way trauma is supposed to look.
Your reaction does not determine what happened to you.
Crying, feeling numb, laughing, going to work, remembering every detail, remembering very little, or seeming “fine” can all happen after trauma.
SURVIVAL RESPONSES
Fight. Flight. Freeze. Fawn.
These are automatic nervous system responses that can happen when the brain detects danger. They are not carefully planned choices.
Defending yourself
The fight response may involve yelling, pushing, hitting, resisting, arguing, or trying to confront the danger.
Trying to escape
Flight may involve running, leaving, avoiding, hiding, or trying to create distance from danger.
Becoming unable to react
Someone may feel physically stuck, unable to speak, unable to move, disconnected, or mentally blank.
Appeasing to stay safe
Fawning may involve complying, agreeing, trying to keep the person calm, or doing what seems most likely to reduce harm.
COMMON TRAUMA RESPONSES
Trauma can show up in many different ways.
You may experience several of these, only one, or none at all.
Emotional
- Fear or anxiety
- Anger or irritability
- Sadness
- Guilt or shame
- Emotional numbness
- Feeling overwhelmed
Physical
- Fatigue
- Muscle tension
- Headaches
- Stomach discomfort
- Changes in appetite
- Feeling easily startled
Thoughts + Memory
- Difficulty concentrating
- Intrusive thoughts
- Flashbacks
- Feeling confused
- Memory gaps
- Difficulty making decisions
Sleep
- Trouble falling asleep
- Waking frequently
- Nightmares
- Sleeping more than usual
- Feeling exhausted after sleeping
Relationships
- Difficulty trusting
- Wanting to isolate
- Fear of intimacy
- Feeling disconnected
- Difficulty setting boundaries
Behavior
- Avoiding reminders
- Changing routines
- Feeling constantly alert
- Withdrawing from activities
- Difficulty relaxing
WHY AM I FEELING THIS NOW?
Trauma responses do not always happen immediately.
Some people feel intense reactions right away. Others may feel numb or function normally for days, months, or even years before noticing the impact.
Reactions may also become stronger when something reminds you of what happened.
Feeling better and then struggling again does not mean you are going backward.
Healing can include easier periods, difficult periods, unexpected reminders, and changing needs over time.
TRIGGERS + REMINDERS
Sometimes the body reacts before you understand why.
A trigger is something that reminds your mind or body of the traumatic experience.
GROUNDING TECHNIQUES
Bring your attention back to the present.
Grounding can be useful when you feel anxious, overwhelmed, disconnected, or reminded of the trauma.
Name What You See
Look around and slowly name objects, colors, shapes, or details in the room.
Feel Your Feet
Press your feet into the floor and notice the support beneath you.
Slow Your Breathing
If comfortable, take slow breaths and make the exhale slightly longer than the inhale.
Use Temperature
Hold something cool, splash cool water on your hands, or notice the temperature around you.
Say Where You Are
Remind yourself of your name, where you are, today’s date, and that you are in the present.
Move Your Body
Stretch, walk, shake out your hands, or gently move in a way that feels safe.
TRY THIS
5 • 4 • 3 • 2 • 1
A simple sensory grounding exercise can help redirect attention to the present.
COPING DAY TO DAY
Small things can help your nervous system feel safer.
You do not need to do everything at once. Choose what feels manageable.
Create Routine
Predictable meals, sleep, movement, or daily routines may help restore a sense of stability.
Stay Connected
Spend time with people who make you feel safe, believed, and respected.
Set Boundaries
It is okay to say no, change plans, limit conversations, or take space.
Rest
Trauma can be exhausting. Rest is not laziness.
Move If It Helps
Walking, stretching, exercise, or gentle movement may help release tension.
Reduce Overwhelm
Break tasks into smaller steps and give yourself permission to postpone what can wait.
COUNSELING + THERAPY
Talking with a trauma informed professional can help.
Counseling can provide a private space to understand trauma responses, develop coping skills, process emotions, rebuild trust, and regain a sense of control.
You are allowed to ask questions, set boundaries, and decide whether a therapist feels right for you.
- Ask about experience with sexual trauma.
- Ask what trauma informed care means in their practice.
- Ask about confidentiality and its limits.
- Ask what approaches they use.
- Pay attention to whether you feel heard and respected.
Healing does not have to happen in isolation.
Some survivors find it helpful to connect with others who understand the experience of surviving sexual violence.
Explore Support Groups →PEER SUPPORT
Being understood can make a difference.
Support groups can provide connection, validation, coping ideas, and a space to share only what you choose.
TELLING SOMEONE
You decide who you tell and when.
Some survivors want to talk about what happened immediately. Others may wait or choose not to tell certain people.
You are allowed to decide who feels safe, how much you want to share, and whether you want advice or simply someone to listen.
“I need you to listen, not fix it.”
“I’m not ready to talk about the details.”
“Can you just stay with me?”
“I need help figuring out what to do next.”
SUPPORTING SOMEONE YOU CARE ABOUT
You do not need perfect words.
Listening without judgment and respecting the survivor’s choices can be incredibly meaningful.
- Listen.
- Believe them.
- Ask what would feel helpful.
- Respect their decisions.
- Let them control what they share.
- Remind them support is available.
- Pressuring them to report.
- Demanding details.
- Questioning why they reacted a certain way.
- Taking over decisions.
- Telling them how quickly they should recover.
- Sharing their story without permission.
WHEN SHOULD I REACH OUT?
You do not have to wait until things become unbearable.
You can reach out simply because you want someone to listen or help you understand what you are experiencing.
- Trauma reactions are interfering with daily life.
- You are having frequent flashbacks or nightmares.
- You are struggling to sleep or eat.
- You feel isolated or unable to connect with others.
- You are having difficulty functioning at work or school.
- You simply feel like you need more support.
HOW SAAP CAN HELP
Support can look different depending on what you need.
You can contact us immediately after sexual violence, months later, years later, or whenever you decide you want support.
EXPLORE MORE SUPPORT
What would be helpful next?
NEED SOMEONE TO TALK TO?
We are here.
You do not need to be in crisis, know what to call what happened, or know what you want to do next.